


In Real Life

by destiencestiel (knottedprince)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Based on True Events, Bisexual Castiel, Bitter Castiel, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Genderfluid Castiel, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Straight Dean, Unrequited, i cant believe i genuinely used that tag, light nsfw ending in angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knottedprince/pseuds/destiencestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which i take something that happened to me and turn it into fanfiction as a coping mechanism. </p><p>Literally all I changed were the names and pronouns of the characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Real Life

"okay so, you gotta..."  
Dean made a vague motion with his hands and face, trying to explain to Cas how to kiss someone.

Cas gave a loopy smile, and before his sense of logic could catch up to him, he'd said "you should just show me."

Dean looked at Cas for a while, and then shrugged. "Well I guess we've been friends for long enough..."  
"And Lisa doesn't have to know" supplied Cas helpfully. What was he doing?

"Yeah but it won't count as cheating because, like... you're a guy. And I'm straight. so... it doesn't count. And plus, I'm not kissing you, I'm showing you. So, you start out like... just kiss me, like you'd kiss your mom or something."

Ignoring Dean's excuse and deciding this wasn't a great time to explain genderfuidity, Cas leaned in and pecked Dean on the lips. Dean nodded. "okay, so that was pretty easy right? Now do it again, just longer."

Cas leaned in and pressed his lips against Dean's, Dean kissed him back, and before he knew what was happening they were properly making out.

Cas slid his hand up Dean's back and ran his fingers through Dean's hair, and vaguely registered Dean doing the same to him. After a while of quite possibly the best kissing Cas had ever experienced, Dean sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and gently bit it. Cas almost moaned it was so good, and desperately wanted to chase Dean's mouth with his own when Dean pulled away to talk more.

"So, how was that?" asked Dean. "Reeeally, really good" replied Cas breathlessly, not realising that he was smiling goofily.

"awesome, so you just gotta, like, take their lip into your mouth and sorta roll it around... we should drink more."  
Dean, to Cas' disappointment, untangled himself from him and got up, stumbling across the room and grabbing the half drank bottle of alcohol, messily pouring some into the cap and drinking half of it before carefully going over to Cas and pouring it into his mouth.

Cas gagged at the strong burn of the alcohol, swearing profusely. Dean screwed the cap back onto the bottle, and laughed openly as Cas leaned too far off the bed and fell face-first onto the floor.

"man, we are so fucked" said Dean, half to himself, and Cas drunkenly agreed, clambering back onto the bed and grinning once again as Dean picked his way across the mess strewn across Cas' floor, laying himself down next to Cas and resuming the position they'd previously had. Cas squirmed a little, getting comfortable, and before he could control himself he placed a small kiss on Dean's jawline.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas' chest, and Cas leaned in, but before they kissed again, Dean muttered "this doesn't change our friendship, okay?"

A small part of Cas' heart spiked with a sharp pain, but he ignored his own pain and nodded. Against everything he wanted, he said "what happens when we're drunk, stays when we're drunk. What happens in tonight stays in tonight." and even though it wasn't very well worded, he knew that Dean knew what he meant.

Dean nodded, and they kissed again. For what seemed like half an hour to Cas, but was probably no more than a minute, there was no sound but their shared breath and Cas felt nothing but their mouths, the way their entire bodies were pressed together, and the front of Dean's thigh that was pressed against Cas' crotch.

Cas was vaguely aware of the fact that his dick was pressed against Dean's leg, and although he wasn't really hard yet, he was very close to grinding against Dean, and he wondered if they'd go any further than this. He wasn't sure how he felt about the idea of that happening.

Dean broke off the kiss, saying again that he wanted to drink more, and Cas tried not to acknowledge the thought that Dean wanted to be drunk enough to forget this. Cas didn't want to forget any of this, but he took the drink Dean gave him anyway.

They kissed until late, until Dean stated that he was tired, and they fell asleep. Sometime in the night, Cas was vaguely aware of Dean moving to the couch, and he both missed the proximity and enjoyed the space.

Cas was still a bit drunk, and he rolled around stretching out his muscles in his bed for a while, rolling onto his stomach and grinding his hard-on against the bed a few times before he woke up properly and remembered he was not alone in his room, mentally slapping himself because, what the hell was he doing?

He ran his hand down his body, thoughtlessly and loosely fondling himself through his pajama pants once or twice, but didn't let himself go any further, trying to ignore his alcohol-fueled arousal and lying on his side, staring at the dim nightlight and tuning out the white noise until he felt the beginnings of a hangover filter into his head like a hat made out of pins.

Cas didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up the sun was visible in the slit under the curtains and Dean was sitting up on the other side of the room, presumably texting someone on his phone.

 

* * *

 

Unlike in all of the stories Cas had heard about these sorts of situations, the next day passed without them kissing being brought up, and without any awkwardness.

In fact, they never talked about it. After a while, Cas even started to doubt it had happened at all. Maybe it had just been a vivid drunk dream? Maybe he'd just imagined it and forgotten that it didn't actually happen? Dean never brought it up, and Cas was too afraid to, and absolutely nothing about their friendship changed.

Cas read a lot of fanfiction, getting irritated at all the happy endings and mutual love in resolutions. It never really ended like that. About a week later, in a flash of nostalgia and bitterness, Cas wrote about what happened in the form of a fanfiction and posted it to Ao3, where nobody read it and it got no kudos, because nobody likes the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Was this really the way it happened? Yes. 
> 
> Was the last paragraph an uneccesary slap at the fourth-wall? Yes.
> 
> Am I bitter?  
> Once again,  
> Yes.


End file.
